Starting over free from fear

To the outside world, Lauren appeared to have the hallmarks of a good life. A successful job. A nice home. A family of her own.

But on the inside, “no one sees the other side of things.”

When Lauren first met her husband, she was drawn to someone who presented as lovely and kind-hearted. However, it soon became clear that alcohol revealed a more sinister side.

As Lauren and her husband made a life together over the years, raising daughters Sienna and Ashleigh, the effects of alcohol began to turn the foundation of their home into a living nightmare.

“It was just so draining… Life was so unhappy for all of us,” recalls Lauren.

Even after seeking treatment for his alcohol usage, the dark cloud that lingered over their lives continued to persist as an occasional drink on the weekend became one during the week and then, once again, every day.

Alcohol made Lauren’s husband cruel, and his anger most often fell on the people he claimed to love the most.

The hostility Lauren faced turned physical on multiple occasions, with her husband punching holes in walls and threatening violence against their daughters among other instances.

“One time he banged on my door. I was on the other side of my bedroom door, and he would bang. He ended up breaking his hand because he was hitting it so hard.”

After so many years of walking on eggshells in a house that was meant to be a loving home, Lauren reached her limit and told her husband to go.

“All of a sudden, he up and left.”

With her husband gone, Lauren was dealt a further blow when she lost her long-term job shortly afterwards. In her hour of need, Lauren turned to the St Vincent de Paul Society.

“I was at the lowest of low, and Vinnies really helped me. They helped with rent and electricity when I had no food for the kids.” 

Lauren’s experience of domestic and family violence is tragically familiar among people supported by Vinnies NSW.

Domestic and family violence has consistently ranked as the most common reason people have sought assistance from our homelessness and housing services, accounting for 27% of all enquiries for help in the last year.

Over 1,700 people were supported through 16 domestic and family violence refuges and programs operated by Vinnies NSW in the last year, including two-thirds of people who were experiencing homelessness at the time of seeking assistance. 

Much of the support Lauren received from Vinnies addressed immediate, tangible needs. But the most enduring impact of the support was the care freely offered from members like Heather who took the time to be with her when it she needed most.

“I would consider her a friend, definitely, not just a service she provides, but that warmth and friendliness, that personal side that I needed.”

Lauren has since moved closer to the country to give her daughters a fresh start. Sienna, 17, is entering her final year of school and Vinnies has helped to provide her with a laptop for her studies. Ashleigh, 13, is preparing to start at a new school and is working with a counsellor to process the trauma she has experienced.

Looking towards the future, Lauren is focused on being there for her daughters and has re-engaged with training to become a support care worker.

“I want to be able to provide a place for my girls where they can live without fear.” 

Lauren is making a fresh start with her daughters through the support she has received from the team at Vinnies. Your compassionate generosity has made that support possible.

Every day, St Vincent de Paul Society NSW members and services work with people in local communities across the state, offering a hand up in times of need. This assistance addresses immediate needs like food and clothing, a warm bed and longer-term case management, and crucially the emotional support to know that people aren’t alone.

Lauren and her daughters are just a few of the many families we’ve been able to support. By donating to the Vinnies NSW Autumn Appeal, you can know that people going through the toughest of circumstances are receiving the support they need to build a better life and thrive.

Donate online at nsw.vinnies.org.au/autumnappeal or call 13 18 12.