Melissa’s story is more than numbers

On the night of 21 January, Melissa left a relationship of ten years.

Following that, she spent 17 weeks in a refuge. During this time, she applied for 221 homes.

These numbers are small parts of Melissa’s larger story. What she remembers most vividly about this period is the feeling of support she received in her time of need.

As an accomplished woman, working first as a nurse before going on to run her own consultancy business, Melissa never imagined becoming homeless.

Having experienced violence in her twenties at the hands of her daughter’s father, Melissa made the decision to leave the relationship just weeks after giving birth to her daughter, Sophie, for their shared safety.

Initially staying with her mother before finding a place of her own – where she made a life for her daughter to thrive over many years – a new partner subsequently entered Melissa’s life. 

Over the course of a relationship spanning ten years, Melissa’s life was seemingly stable as her career progressed at the same time she relocated alongside Sophie to be with her partner.

With hindsight, Melissa recognises the signs of controlling behaviour were always there. None more so than in the weeks after winding up her business at the behest of her partner.

“I look back and think that the worst decision I made was to become financially dependent on them.”

The conflict that followed culminated in the events of 21 January – a day which saw Melissa and Sophie forced from the home they had come to know for the uncertainty of homelessness.

In the short time it took to travel to a petrol station to fill up her car, Melissa was dealt a further blow with her finances cut off.

As the dire nature of her situation began to sink in, Melissa and her daughter slept in their car before finding respite in temporary accommodation, where she tried to navigate support systems in the hope of securing a more permanent place to call home.

Caught in limbo as she applied for private rentals under the pressure of not knowing if her temporary accommodation would be extended, a turning point occurred when a refuge, specialising in domestic and family violence, operated by the St Vincent de Paul Society NSW offered Melissa and Sophie the support they needed in trying times.

“It was a roof over our heads – the support workers there were lovely.”

“I’ll be forever grateful for that.”

The circumstances that led Melissa to seek support are a common story according to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. 

Research shows that 1 in 6 women have experienced economic abuse by a current or previous cohabiting partner since the age of 15, while the same proportion of women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence perpetrated by a partner.

Melissa’s time at the Society’s refuge provided stability, but was not without its own challenges.

Spending a total of 17 weeks at the refuge while going through a gruelling process of submitting rental applications only to face rejection after rejection, the breakthrough she hoped for arrived with application 221.

“Today we’re in a modest two-bedroom granny flat… it feels very safe. It’s home for the moment.”

“I certainly wouldn’t have been able to secure something and then move into it without Vinnies’ help.”

As Melissa continues to rebuild from the hardship of the past year, she is thankful for the support she and Sophie have received from the St Vincent de Paul Society NSW.

Having participated in the Vinnies CEO Sleepout in her former professional life, she was able to share her own story of support at this year’s event.

“Please continue to donate so that they can continue to help people tomorrow, and then after that and the week after that – people like me and my daughter – it’s life-changing stuff.”

If you haven’t already donated to our Spring Appeal, please make a gift now to support people like Melissa in their time of need.